


Not Enough.

by Too_Many_Usernames



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Gen, Sara as future protagonist/pathfinder, Sara has Daddy issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 19:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10472589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Too_Many_Usernames/pseuds/Too_Many_Usernames
Summary: Alec Ryder is a good man, a good soldier and a explorer. He is not a good father.





	

There was a time when Sara looked up to her father above all things. He was an adventurer - an explorer, a real _hero_. And when he started leaving more and more, Sara didn't mind - Scott missed him, but she understood. He had a duty to fulfill - a future to chart for all of them. And then Mum got sick. The image of her mother collapsed on the floor, the smell of vomit, the distant sounds of her shaking voice commanding Sara to call an ambulance, is one that is inescapable. The doctors look at them sympathetically, speak in hushed voices, and smile at her when she demands answers. But she always thinks it looks more like a grimace. They ask where her father is, and she responds with the only answer she knows 'changing the world.' And then they smile more - thinking she's been abandoned.

But she's not been abandoned, has she? Her dad will come back for them, because even a hero has a family to think about.

But he doesn't come home. So Sara picks herself up, dry's her twin brothers eyes and sets about making things right. She makes sure they both get their homework done, that they eat three solid meals a day, that they don't watch TV past nine. Scott only clings to her more desperately. They may be twins, but it is at this time Sara realizes just how much those few minutes count. She is the oldest. And she will protect him. They visit mum at the hospital twice a week. Not for long, because she's too tired. But she holds their hands and kisses Sara's head, and tells her how _proud_ she is.

And then Dad comes home. And Scott breaks from her grasp and runs to him, but Sara stays where she is, feeling so betrayed as Scott is lifted into the air, with a squeal and a giggle. A broad and scared hand is offered to her, a prepared gentle smile but she can only scowl. And she turns away from her father.

Dad tries to cook for them, but he's worse than Sara, and eventually retreats behind a locked door, muttering nonsense she can't understand about someone named Sam. Dad comes home but it's still her who makes sure they get their homework done, that they eat three meals a day and don't watch TV past nine. They still visit mum three times a week, and Dad speaks in a low voice about anything but the tubes that seem to strangle her body and the fact she looks like she's shrinking in that bed.

When he leaves again, nothing changes. Scott is all sniffles, but promises that he'll make his father proud. Sara doesn't say anything. She doesn't need to promise like Scott does. Because she's stronger than him, better than him. And maybe she won't make him proud, but one day, she'll surpass him.

 

They're fourteen when their first introduced to SAM. Mum's gone now -  and Dad becomes even more distant - his eyes dark, his smiles weak, and his temper thin. Until he reveals his creation. And Sara things he must be taking the piss with calling the damn thing SAM, isn't a Scott and a Sara enough? Scott laughs a little nervously, suggesting it's 'like a new brother' But she doesn't want a new brother. She has Scott, and that's enough. She had mum, and that was enough. And now Dad has tried to fill the chasm in their family that _he_ created, so stupidly unaware that it wasn't enough. And most of the tech goes with him again when he leaves, but there's a small access point in Dad's office where they can talk to it. Sometimes it makes jokes. Eventually she stops calling SAM 'it.'

**Author's Note:**

> Is this me channeling my own issues with my father through fiction? MAYBE.
> 
> Not sure where I'll go with this.


End file.
